“Remember: If the Creator put it there, it is in the right place. The soul would have no rainbow if the eyes had no tears.”
Unknown Indian Chief
I know this time is not any different than other times. But, it does seem like there has been a lot of tragedy lately. Some of it has been at the national and international level. Other seem to be closer to home with homicide, suicide, and illness. There has been a tremendous amount of emotion in the midst of this grief. Anger, sadness, and uncertainty have been the primary feelings. What can we do?
Recently, I spoke to a young man who was struggling with the anguish of a recent loss. He shared about his intense anger that was bubbling up to rage of the senseless act that leads to this loss. As I listened to him I could empathize with him.
I understand how a loss that first starts with sadness can easily slip into anger and then rage. I quietly mentioned to him in the presence of his very real pain there is more information that will be revealed. If he takes the limited amount of information that he has and turns it into statements then he will be tempted to slip into judgment which will fuel his rage. I encouraged him, realizing that more information will be revealed, for him to focus on having more questions than statements of judgment. I reassured him, his anger would be at close hand if he so needed it. He smiled as he knew his anger had always been quick to access. We spoke a little longer about some of his questions regarding the unknowns of this situation and then he moved to hug someone else who was struggling with their grief.
Sometimes we will never know or completely understand the motives of others actions that cause such great pain and loss. But, maybe it is less about understanding them but more about what are we going to do in response to setbacks and tragedy. And, more importantly, what are we going to learn from going through this setback.
I do believe in the obstacles that we face lie the key to our liberation.
Choose to be The Light in others darkness.
–kevin